A Different Take on Yes/No

I recently read an interesting article by James Clear called ‘The Ultimate Productivity Hack is Saying No‘. He has a different take on saying yes or no, which was most interesting! He looked at it from the opposite end – meaning that saying ‘no’ is to just to one option, whereas saying ‘yes’ is actually saying ‘no’ to all other options! Furthermore, saying ‘Yes’ is a responsibility – a commitment you promise to the person you say Yes to.

When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option.

No is a decision. Yes is a responsibility.

He went on to say the importance of saying No as a productivity hack, as it safeguard against our most precious commodity called ‘time’. You will realize that saying ‘no’ allows you to say ‘yes’ to those things that are important to you, or has more value to you. That, I think is a big motivation to master this important skill of saying ‘no’ or ‘yes’.

I Am Enough

I love the quote from Maya Angelou that says I am enough. I know I am enough because I am a child of God. He has made me in His image. Enough said!

With the constant bombardment of marketing advertisements and social media highlights, it is no wonder if we can stay afloat with our feeling of adequacy. That’s why it’s important to ground our identity in who we believe we are and live congruently with the values important to us.

I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I am who I am in this space and in this time. The only thing I need to do is to serve my purpose in my unique way and do things that matters, while helping others do the same too! Knowing that, indeed, I Am Enough!

Side Mirror

Recently, I lost my car’s side mirror at the passenger side. I felt so handicapped without it, as I felt so unsure when changing lane or parking or reversing as I can’t see my blind spot! It made me think of living life with blind spot and wondering what is my blind spot.

I figure that one of the blind spot I have is my limiting beliefs. Past bad experiences has shaped what I believe I can, and cannot do. Fear of Failure has kept me away trying new things. Fear of Winning has kept me within my comfort zone, as winning might mean more responsibility and new challenges.

My analogy of having a side mirror in life is to have friends, in particular, Accountability Partners, who can see your blind spots and hold you accountable for your actions. If you set any goals, be it health, business or any goals, your accountability partners can help you see through your excuses and justifications, guide you in your journey, get you back on track when you have sidetracked, and make you accountable. They should “mirror” who you are and show you your blind spots as you drive along your journey towards your goals. It certainly has a significant impact on my life having accountability partners!

Prayer that changes me

Yesterday, I was struck by a quote from the movie ‘Shadowland’, a very old movie about the famous C.S. Lewis. He said that prayer doesn’t change God, that prayer changes me.

I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me. – C.S. Lewis

I thought about how I need to be praying persistently, and more importantly, I have to pray persistently – until it changes me. Often, we pray to change our situation, our job, or our (addictive) habits, our children, even our spouse! So, my prayer should be to change me – to change my perspective or my mindset – to develop my character or to strengthen me.

Many times, we are unable to control our situation, but we can control how we react to the situation. We can control our perspective of the situation, and hence, we can change from a negative to a positive perspective. That each situation is a lesson in the making, and that we can learn from our failures and mistakes, and hence grow stronger from the experience. Our prayer should help us to see God’s will for us and how He wants to change us and develop our character. That, I believe, is one of the important aspect of Prayer.

PichaEats Malaysia

With the help of PichaEats, we met some Myanmar refugees who shared their stories. I was amazed with one of PichaEats founder’s story of how the three of them decided to help refugees in Malaysia, while still studying in university! They found a unique way to help refugees – turning their culinary skills into a quality and delicious food business.

Through PichaEats, refugee families who are forced to flee to Malaysia can get a chance to rebuild their lives, regain their dignity, and provide for their family.

As I reflect on the PichaEats team and the refugees’ sharings, I am reminded again of how blessed I am to have my home, my family, my job and my friends, and many things that I take for granted! It also reminded me to stop complaining about what I lack, but to appreciate what I already have, which is more than enough!

PichaEats team is a young dynamic entrepreneurial team. I salute them for their courage and tenacity to start and maintain this business of helping refugees in Malaysia, and inspiring more people to help others. Read their story, support them by ordering their food if possible, and be inspired to do something to help others too.

L.E.A.D.E.R

Acronym for Leader

Recently, I attended a Talk by Cash Flow Story founder, Alan Miltz, in Kuala Lumpur. He gave the acronym for leader that I found most useful and insightful:

L – Listen

E – Empathy

A – Attitude

D – Decisions

E – Energize

R – Resilience

These are the admirable qualities of a leader! What a apt acronym for them! Furthermore, he highlighted that the letters for the word ‘listen’, are the same letters for the word ‘silent’, signifying that we must learn to be silent when listening! So true!

Do you have these qualities as a leader?

Start With Why

Why I started BlessedAbundance

Simon Sinek’s book, Start With Why, started a movement and shook people and corporations at its core. In his TED Talk in September 2009, How Great Leaders Inspire Action, he talked about the Golden Circle – What, How, Why. Most people start from the outer circle of what they are doing, then how they are doing things – but very few people know, or stay true, to the Why they are doing the things they are doing!

The Golden Circle provides compelling evidence of how much more we can achieve if we remind ourselves to start everything we do by first asking why.

Simon Sinek

So it begs the question of why I have started BlessedAbundance? I had this idea a personal blog a few years ago but gave lots of excuses for not starting it. It took me a long time to overcome my limiting belief that I am not good enough and/or I don’t know enough to share. I believe each of us have a unique story to tell, and more importantly, each of us can inspire and be inspired. Just as I am constantly inspired by books and articles that I read, I can also inspire others to overcome their limiting beliefs and fear of failure, and do what they have always wanted to do! Even if I just inspire one person, I believe that is a very good start!

Congruency

I first heard of the word ‘congruent’ in the Live Your Legend course, ‘21 Days to Discover Your Passion’. Congruency means the ability to act in direct accordance to your dreams, values and strengths. It got me thinking about the values that are important to me, and evaluate my life in relation to them. For example, health is an important value to me, however, am I eating healthy, exercising regularly and having enough sleep every night? Truthfully, no.

So I started writing down the top 5-10 values that are important to me, then ranking them, which was challenging. I realize that having these values written down will help me make better decisions based on what is important to me. I believe that it will give me greater clarity and help me live my life’s purpose.

Now or never!

Is it human nature to always procrastinate? Giving reasons when there are actually excuses and justifications? Is it human tendency to seek the easy and least resistant path? I do so admire those people who stop procrastinating and really get things done!

If you don’t do something now, now just becomes later, and later just becomes never…

Chelsea Dinsmore

I felt like being slapped in the face the first read the above quote, coz it was so true for me! How many ‘later’ have not materialized in my life? Chelsea’s quote made me realize that if it is important to me, and I don’t do it now, it will end up never done. In fact, this quote inspired me to get this blog started, as I didn’t want it to be a ‘never’!

For any of you still ‘pondering‘ on your passion or interest, the time to start is now. It’s so okay to start and fail, and learn from your lesson, rather than not trying at all due to fear of failure. Through my failures, I have learnt so many valuable lessons, and looking back, it was more like adventures to me! So, start now! And share your stories with me, yeah?

To Cherish…

How often we hear the words in the wedding vows, ‘To love and to cherish‘, yet we tend to think mainly of love. In Gary Thomas’ book, ‘Cherish: The One Word that Changes Everything for Your Marriage’, he summarised the meaning of Cherish as ‘to go out of our way to notice someone, appreciate someone, honour someone, and hold someone dear‘.

One of the ways to cherish our loved ones is to be grateful for who they are – with their imperfections – knowing that we are imperfect as well. To thank them in specific ways for the big and little things they do for you, to encourage them when they need support, to inspire them to be better persons, and to help them achieve their dreams. Be intentional in cherishing them – so that they will definitely feel the warmth of your cherishing heart.

Are we stealing our own joy?

I first heard of the term ‘foreboding joy’ in Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly. I’ve had that feeling before – when things are going well but I feel it won’t last long, or I will run out of my good fortune soon – but didn’t know there’s an actual term for it…!

It makes me wonder: why do we steal our own joy and deprive ourselves of those joyful moment or season of life? Least we get disappointed? Or we feel unworthy of such joy and/or good fortune?

Scarcity and fear drive foreboding joy. We’re afraid our feelings of joy won’t last, or that it won’t be enough… If the opposite of scarcity is enough, then practicing gratitude is how we acknowledge that there’s enough and that we are enough.

Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown

Next time you have that feeling of foreboding joy, don’t let it steal your joy – instead, be present and be grateful for your moments of joy, knowing that we are enough!

Do It Afraid

I started this year with Sheila Walsh’s book, “It’s Okay Not to be Okay: Moving Forward One Day at a Time”. To know that God’s grace is sufficient for me, and that He will redeem every drop of my suffering.

What struck me most was her advice: Do It Afraid. To be Present. To Show Up. To bring all my anxieties and what-ifs to God. To let God take control.

Do you have a wish or dream you’ve always wanted to start, yet for various reasons (excuses), have yet to do so? Now will be the perfect time to do it! Just do it Afraid!

Your Unique Combination of Talents

Many years ago, I read an article that had a profound impact on me. For years, I searched for my so-called talent, but could not quite figure it out. This article pointed out that we might not have just one single talent, but multiple talents, in which our combination of talents make each of us unique.

So, we may have many talented photographers, or singers, or authors, speakers – but the combination of my interest in photography and designing albums, my skill in organizing things and getting things done, my unquenchable thirst for knowledge through reading and listening to talks, my deep self-awareness and faith – this combination, is totally unique! Each of us have our unique combination of talents, and that’s so amazing to know!

Let us be truly grateful for our unique combination of talents, strengths, skills and interests! Then find a way to use them to make a positive impact and be a contribution to the world.

Scary Tale of Vulnerability

From BreneBrown.com – download desktop background

One of reasons (or excuses) I was afraid of starting this blog is the fear of feeling vulnerable. All the ‘What ifs’ and fear of rejection. The feeling if I’m ‘good enough‘ to write and wondering ‘so, who do you think you are?‘

Then I stumbled upon two TED Talks by Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. The most powerful lesson I learnt from her talks is this:

Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage – to be vulnerable, to let ourselves be seen, to be honest.

Her talks inspired me to take the plunge to start this blog. To quote from Brene Brown’s site – to own my story and loving myself through the process. I guess it’s good for the soul to sometimes do something I’m scared of, and trusting myself, trusting the process – to learn and grow from the experience.

How would you like to write your life’s story? Would you settle for a safe and mediocre life, or take a risk to write an adventurous life filled with some failures, learnt lessons and great height of achievement through grit and hard work, being vulnerable and trusting in yourself?

Remember: You are the Author of Your Life!

Are you Living Your Legend?

What prompted me to really do something this year was taking the Passion Work Program from Live Your Legend in April. I had subscribed to their emails for a few years but didn’t take any action. Their tagline of ‘Live with Purpose, Meaning and Mindfulness‘ resonates with me, and their articles are inspirational and motivational. Finally, I decided to take their first course: ‘Discover Your Passion in 21 Days‘ – which gave birth to this site!!

Listen to Live Your Legend founder, Scott Dinsmore, TED Talk on ‘How to Find Work You Love‘, where he talked about his Passion Work Framework and told his story of perseverance and achieving his impossible. He ended his TED Talk with this question: What is the work you can’t not do?

However, If you are like me, where I have trouble finding my definition of ‘Passion’, read Chelsea Dinsmore’s article on ‘How to Let Your Passion Find You‘!

When you show up and put time, energy and effort into the things you are interested, or excited about, clarity presents itself TO you instead of you looking FOR it.

Chelsea Dinsmore

Go on a journey to learn more about yourself – your strengths, your passions, your interests – and do something that matters, do your “impossible” – and find the people who would go on this exciting journey with you!

Welcome!

A warm welcome to my site, Blessed Abundance!

I had declared during a Women Empowerment Workshop by Milestone Trainings that I would start an online blog. That was end of October of 2016. I guess it’s not too late yet, eh?

I would like to encourage any of you who has a passion project you’ve always wanted to start – do it Now! I guess I ran out of excuses, plus a good buddy sat me down one breakfast last week, made me decide on this domain name – BlessedAbundance – and set a deadline to start it! Thanks, buddy!

The trick is to start small, but start!!! Dare to fail, learn from your experiences, improve, and just keep on going on! It’s way better to have tried and fail, rather than stay safe and regret not trying! So, don’t wait too long, as it will end up not happening at all!