Tag: #IntentionalLiving

Forgive Thyself

As we “rebuild” who we are, one of the tasks most needed is to set your house in order. Just like we do spring-cleaning for our house, we also need to do spring-cleaning for our hearts as well. For me, that means Love and Forgiveness. 

Unforgiveness is the prison you lock the person who has hurt you with your justification and pain, not realizing the person you have imprisoned is actually – yourself! You shake angrily at the prison bars of the person who has hurt you, not knowing if the other person is even aware of the pain he/she had caused you. The bad news is that when you look around, you find that the prison bars are actually around you!

The good news is that you hold the key to unlock this prison of unforgiveness. If you find it so hard to forgive, remember how Jesus had forgiven Peter, and all those who had persecuted and killed Him. If you can’t relate to that, imagine yourself rotting in this prison while the other person is free (and maybe happily oblivious?). Do you still want to imprison yourself and deny your own freedom and blessings? For how can you receive any blessings when you have locked yourself in this prison of unforgiveness?

Other than forgiving others, more importantly, love yourself by forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for past failures, disappointments and regrets. Move forward with love and kindness in your heart.

Changing My Mindset

One of the turning point in my life is when I started to change my mindset of scarcity to Abundance. I used to worry a lot, especially about money, and I ended up strapped in credit cards debt for a few years, partly due to overspending on my house renovation. The stress took a heavy toll on my mental health, and finally I was determined to change my mindset, and to trust God to get me out of my credit card debt. He not only got me out of my credit card debt, but showed me what an Abundant God He is!

Related to this Abundance mindset, is the Attitude of Gratitude – being grateful for the things I have and stop complaining about the things I don’t have. Lo and behold, I found that I have so much more to be grateful for!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be?

Marianne Williamson

Climb Your Mountains

Scientist have established that we are only using a small percentage of estimated 5% of our mind, and we have 95% of our subconscious mind controlling our underlying thoughts and behaviours. Not many people realize our subconscious mind is very powerful and subtle, and they mostly form our Limiting Beliefs that many times sabotage our successes.

You need to ‘Climb Your Mountains’ of Limiting Beliefs in your  life that is holding you back, for examples:

    • Money is evil / Money will bring unhappiness or stress
    • No one will love the “real me”
    • I will be rejected or betrayed if I fall in love again
    • I can’t trust anyone / I can’t be trusted anymore
    • I am too old / young or not good enough
    • I don’t have enough time / experience / skill
    • I am comfortable enough / I don’t want to rock the boat
    • Why pursue a dream that is destined to fail?
  • E.g. If you want to be rich, but on the other hand, have a limiting belief about the evil of money and you scorn on filthy rich people – this limiting belief will end up sabotaging your struggling efforts to become rich.

  • There are no limits on what you can achieve in your life, except for the limits you accept in your own mind. – Brian Tracy

Our Values as Building Blocks

As we walk from our crossroads, our next step is to rebuild our identity of who we are. Specifically, we need to identify the voices in our head or the stories we tell ourselves, be it positive or negative voices.  We are always justifying what we want, especially when we need an excuse to do something we want that may not be in our best interest in the long term, for example, over-eating in a buffet as you want to make your money’s worth!

It is essentially our values that are the building blocks of our identity. Whether we list them out or not, our values are the underlying factors that determine our choices and decision making. Your values make you who you are! 

Hence, it is important to find out your values, write them down, and evaluate if you are living your life in congruence with your values, or just drifting with wherever the wind blows and doing whatever your family/friends even society think you should be doing.

Congruence is speaking and acting on the things that honor who you are. – Live Your Legend

Know Your Why

In Simon Sinek’s TED Talk and his book, ‘Start With Why’, he talks about the ‘Golden Circle‘, to help us understand why we do what we do. It provides compelling evidence of how much more we can achieve if we remind ourselves to start everything we do by first asking why.

As we start on this journey – if you choose to start on this journey – start by asking why you are on this journey to live your life with intention and purpose. If you believe that you can inspire others and be inspired, that I believe is a really good start! As for me, I want to achieve my full potential as a child of God and to be a good steward for the blessings bestowed upon me.

Give Yourself Permission

I saw this really cute video by a little girl, who decided to put on her mother’s lipstick. The father took the video and asked her who gave her permission to use the “yipick”, and she said, ‘I ask myself!‘

What a powerful statement: to give myself permission, especially coming from such a little girl! How sad that as we grow up, we forget to give ourselves permission – to laugh at ourselves, to cry in sadness, to try and fail, to love unconditionally without the fear of getting hurt, to be patient and kind to ourselves, to have big and bold dreams, to do things that matter to us! So go ahead, give yourself permission to do big and bold things that matters to you this year! Give yourself permission to fail, as long as you do something that you have always wanted to do but was too afraid. Give yourself permission to feel the emotions inside of you – be it love or hate, joy or sorrow, excitement or anxiety, hope or disappointment, empathy or shame – as your emotions are part of who you are.

Start Where You Are

I would like to start this new year with a series called ‘Intentional Living‘. I will start with where you are – the crossroad of your life. How would you rate yourself in terms of work, family, social, health, and spiritually. What were your dreams and your disappointments? Are you where you want to be? If not, what would you need to change? Are you willing to change? Are you ready for that change?

As a new decade begins, it draws on new hope to live with intention and purpose, instead of drifting for another year, or 5 years or another decade. We want to look back and have a sense of achievement and pride. As for me, I want to make this change to live with intention and purpose, and invite you on this journey with me. Let me share Maya Angelou’s quote below:

If you don’t like something, change it; If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.