Category: Books Courses Talks Videos

Bittersweet Year of 2023

I was totally struck by the interview between Mindvalley’s Vishen Lakhiani and author Susan Cain. She has a new book called, “Bittersweet – How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole”. I was so intrigue that I quickly got this book and read it. Her previous book, “Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking” is the de-facto book for introverts.

Her book helped me to accept pain and sorrow in my life. It is healthy to recognise the emotions of pain and sorrow as part of life – that there is no escape. Her book gave me so much hope in that it encourages me to acknowledge and accept the bitterness of life, and transforming it into creativity, transcendence and love. It is after experiencing bitterness that we treasure the sweetness of joy even more. And it had given me inspiration to transform my biggest trials this year into exploration, discovery, adventure and renewed confidence. Basically, it was God’s way of pushing me out of my comfort zone into the next level of who I can become.

In her book, Susan Cain wrote the real reason for our emotions is to connect us. And Sadness, of all the emotions, was the ultimate bonding agent. We can see this in the movie, “Inside Out”. We can see it in funerals, death and grieving.

Sadness triggers compassion. It brings people together.

It is humbling to go through sadness and sorrow. But when we go through these emotions, they can bring us closer to other people through our compassion, if we allow them. It helps us sieve through our overwhelming noise and distraction, and connect us to what matters most. And this can lead us to take committed action to transform the bitter to the sweet. Let the bitter lessons of life bring renewed hope and joy, gratitude and compassion, to people around us.

What do you do when you lose your momentum?

The 7 Habits to Keep Momentum Going

The new year for 2023 started exciting enough, but I kind of lost my momentum as January progressed and the festivities of Chinese/Lunar New Year started. That’s where the third part of Evan Carmichael’s book Momentum comes in – The 7 Habits to Keep Momentum Going.

  1. Morning Routine – setting a routine to start the day with energy and to do what matters most
  2. Chunk Your Time – batch similar tasks together, and setup a Weekly Routine
  3. Big Why / Little Why – a reminder for today for your Little Whys when you lose sight of the Big Why – in other words, what I do today towards my goal matters
  4. Tie Your Self-Worth to Your Effort, not the Results – just put in the effort of showing up, and be the person who shows up, the results will eventually come
  5. Pass the Pillow Test – ask the question: Am I proud of myself? If I didn’t follow through, ask the question: Am I proud of my reason why? However, be gentle to myself
  6. Join A Community – of like-minded and like-actioned people, get your supporters and be a supporter
  7. Focus on Who You Are Serving instead of who you aren’t – continue to reach out to those I am serving, and not be affected by those I am not serving

This post is about my showing up and keeping my momentum. Yes, it has been a challenge maintaining my momentum, but I am reminded not to give up.

As it is still in the season of Chinese/Lunar New Year, I will end this post with: HUAT AH!!!

Take Action to Start Your Momentum

Continuing on Evan Carmichael’s book on Momentum, taking action is the next step after shifting your mindset. He starts with the 2% difference – to start immediately even just a small difference. Then have a mini plan of 5% and start doing 95% – this will help you to start the momentum and find out what works and what to improve at the next cycle. Start small to learn what works and what doesn’t work so you can improve on it.

However, do expect things to be challenging as you start, especially when you don’t know how to start. The best way to avoid backing out is to tell and commit to someone. Also, elevate your environment by auditing your energy – reduce energy vampires and collect good people who support and inspire you.

One interesting thing he suggested to change your state is through music. He has a playlist for how he wants to feel. I used to put a playlist when I did photo processing. I also find energetic music motivates me to exercise better.

As I come to the last few hours of 2022, I would like to reflect on the year that is coming to an end. I have started on the momentum of my journey to become a journal author, and I need to remember my intention when I’m having my doubts and insecure.

As I welcome a new year for 2023, it is my sincere prayer that each of us will pursue our god-given dreams and take action to keep our momentum to always move forward. Never give up!

Shift Your Mindset for Momentum

Recently, I read Evan Carmichael’s book, Momentum. It was easy to read and understand, practical and full of insights.

The first part talked about mindset shifts. I realise that everything is about our mindsets, which controls most of our lives, whether we are aware of it.

In our lives, we sometimes have great ideas. Yet how many of us actually act on them. As fleeting as an idea comes in, it flies out just as fast. We talk ourselves out of it when we stop and (over) think. So, his litmus test is this: if you are feeling bold about the idea, it is the right one for you! Believe that great ideas do flow through you! Believe in yourself and your great ideas! We do love our bold ideas, and when it passes another test he calls the “Boom Boom Boom” test where you body tells you, then you should definitely go for it. Think Boldly! Be Audacious (I love this word, it sounds so delicious)!

What I love most of this mindset shift is this: make big decisions with the heart, small one with the head. How to create alignment with your heart and mind. Your heart will be excited with your bold idea but your mind will be terrified as it overthinks it. So what do you do? Let your heart focus on the Why and let the mind work out the How!

The 4Rs of Winning the War In Your Mind

I read the plan, ‘Winning the War in Your Mind’ in YouVersion, a Bible app that I use regularly. It is by Craig Groeschel, based on his book of the same name. I would like to share the 4Rs in his plan:

1. Replace the lies with the truth of God – identify the lies we tell ourselves, and replace them with God’s Word in our hearts

2. Rewire our brain, renew our mind – constantly declare God’s truth to create new neural pathways in our brain, to renew our mind. Yes, it is very true that we can rewire our brain with new neural pathways!

3. Reframe our mind, restore our perspective – we cannot control the circumstances in our lives, but we can control how we think about it. We can gain God’s perspective for the situation and discern His will for us. Most importantly, we can believe that God is in control and will use the situation for our benefit (mostly to develop and strengthen our character)

4. Rejoice in the Lord always – rejoice in all our circumstances, as Paul did even when he was in prison. What Paul did in prison was to praise God for Who He Is, i.e. God is good. What struck me was that Paul praised God before God saved him and before God showed up. Bottom line: we can change our perspective through prayer and praise.

Our mind is a battlefield. We can only win this battlefield in our mind with God’s help. It is God’s Word and Truth that we can conquer the battlefield in our mind. Let’s start to identify the lies and Replace them with God’s Word, Rewire and renew our mind by declaring God’s Word, Reframe our situation in God’s perspective and Rejoice always in the Lord. Alleluia!

12 Week Year

Many years ago, there was an American movie called, ‘Honey, I shrunk the kids’. That’s what I feel like when I first read the book, The Twelve Week Year, by Brian P Moran and Michael Lennington. They challenged the Annual 12 months planning, to shrink it to 12 weeks.
The starting point is the vision, the emotional connection, the purpose of it. So why 12 weeks? It is more predictable, more focused, and has a better structure and more importantly, better execution.
The important lessons I have learnt from the book are:
– It is not a knowledge problem, it’s an execution problem
– The emotional connection with my vision, my compelling reason
– Doing things consistently – on a daily and weekly basis
– Measuring effectively – measuring both the execution and the results. We tend to measure just the results and get discouraged. By measuring execution, we can determine if our execution is providing the results we want. This was what really struck me – measuring execution.
– Accountability is not consequences, but taking ownership of our choices

After using this 12 Week Year for 12 weeks, I found that the idea is good, but my implementation was flawed. Without an accountability partner for the Weekly Accountability Meeting, I was not measuring effectively. Measurement drives the process and without it, I was not achieving my results.

I also realize that I needed to take control of my time – to spend time intentionally, to be mindful of how I spend my time. My biggest time-waster is social media, where I can scroll through them for hours. It is also my biggest distraction to be checking my WhatsApp – even while typing this sentence!!!

Bottomline: this is a very good book and awesome concept. I need to implement it in a way that works for me, and I need an accountability partner.

Learning as Your Superpower

I recently shared at a book club on Jim Kwik’s book Limitless, how he changed his mindset from the boy with a broken brain to a mind expert with a limitless mindset. We don’t always get to control the circumstances in our lives, but we always have a choice how we view the circumstances in our lives. That’s why our mindset is so important.

Our mindset is the one that will help us view our circumstances as hopeless, or, hopeful. With a Limitless mindset, we can open our minds to new possibilities and adventures for our future. Learn as much as you can – about yourself, your hopes and dreams, your strengths and weaknesses. Learn about the opportunities around you and how you can add value to people and/or situation around you. Learn something new, something that you have always wanted to learn, especially those who find themselves stuck at home during this Covid lockdown. Have a mindset of Continuous Learning to open your eyes and widen your perspective of life. As as Jim Kwik would say: Learning is your Superpower. It’s time to activate your Learning Superpower and make an positive impact on people around you!

 

We are all Influencers in our own space

Last week, I attended the online InfluencerSummit, hosted by Brendon Burchard. It was an amazing online event with many of the top notch speakers ranging from Jay Shetty, to Jenna Kutcher, to two of BossBabes’ founders, Natalie Ellis and Danielle Canty.

Let me share the lesson I learnt from Jenna Kutcher, who helped me realize that I am an influencer in my own space, be it my family, friends or workers. Her mission: Being Enough – Own Your Enoughness and Help Others Feel Less Alone – speaks volume to me, as I struggle to feel good enough in my different roles, even writing in my own blog. This feeling of not “being enough” can isolate us as we don’t even feel worthy enough to seek help. This belief that we are indeed enough, is essential as we live out our different roles and follow where our dreams take us.

She encouraged us to find our Super Power, as she said, “We are way too close to our own genius”. What I find to do so easily and naturally, can be a challenging task to another person, and we say, “That’s not a Super Power!!”.  We are all geniuses in our own rights – it is a matter of recognizing and acknowledging our genius. The way to find out is to ask people close to us or who work and/or interact with us regularly. Another way to figure out is ask this question: what are you the go-to person for?

I suggest you remove the limited definition of an “influencer” as defined by social media and marketing industry – and be intentional as an influencer in your own space, knowing the value you can add to your community and creating an impact for positive change in the world.

5-Second Brain Hack Rule

Perhaps you have heard of the 3-second rule where you drop you food and you can still pick it up and eat it if it is within 3 seconds. Recently, I heard of the most interesting 5-Second Rule by Mel Robbins. It is a brain hack where you count down 5-4-3-2-1 to interrupt your habit loops and prompts you into action. Instead of hitting the alarm clock snooze button, you count down 5-4-3-2-1 and get out of bed! 

Basically, it is a fact that we are never going to feel like doing the things we should do (e.g. exercise), hence we need to stop waiting to feel like doing it. We need to determine what we want, and practically force ourselves to do it. Just like how our parents used to force us to our homework and do house chores, now we need to “parent”, or force, ourselves to do it. 

When you want to do something or have an interesting idea, act upon it within 5 seconds, before your brain hijacks you and talks you out of it. When you see someone interesting and want to talk to him/her, go over and say ‘Hi!’. If you think longer about it, you will most likely “chicken out”. When you think of exercising, quickly put on your proper gear and walk out, before you change your mind. When the alarm clock rings in the morning, count down 5-4-3-2-1 and get out of bed. Overcome your inertia or procrastination by this simple 5-second rule! Your daily battles come down to this 5-second decisions you make every day! You need to determine what you want, then do what you need to do to get what you want! Try this 5-Second Rule!!!

The time is now. Stop hitting the snooze button on your life.
– Mel Robbins –

Free Bagel vs Long Queue

Free Bagel

Simon Sinek told this interesting story: after a run, he wanted the free bagel but his friend didn’t want to wait at the long queue. He realised that some people see the thing that they want, and some people see that thing that prevents them from getting the thing that they want. Simon Sinek could see the free bagel but his friend could only see the long queue for the free bagel. It was so funny the way Simon Sinek repeatedly said, ‘Free Bagel?!’

How often we want something but we are usually prevented from getting it because we can only see the trouble or hassle in getting what we want. Even a simple thing like going out for a nice dinner, when we think of the traffic and parking, we may just opt to order GrabFood!

Let us focus on the thing we want, instead of the obstacles in its way. Think ‘Free Bagel!’. Once we focus on that, then we can find ways to get what we want – which was what Simon Sinek did, even without queueing up! As Simon Sinek mentioned, Life has a funny way of looking after you! 

Memorizing Bible Verses

As a Catholic, memorizing Bible verses is not a natural habit. In a recent course where I had to memorize a Bible verse/passage every week, I have learnt to appreciate how this habit benefitted me.

Firstly, it helped me to know God’s word intimately. Secondly, it helped me to pray better, using Bible verses. Thirdly, it calms me down when I worry or feel overwhelmed. Fourthly, I am able to share these Bible verses to encourage or comfort those in need of God’s love. Lastly, it draws me closer to God.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

So what I have done now, is that I started collecting my favourite Bible verses by searching them online for some nice images with the Bible verses, copy and paste them into my Microsoft OneNote page. I find it nicer and easier to memorize them visually.

This month, as I pray anxiously for my family’s health matters (surgeries), I found that memorizing the Bible verses has helped me focus on God instead of worrying. Every time I find myself worrying too much, I turn to my list of favourite Bible verses and start memorizing them. Truly, there is power in the Living Word of God. Amen!

Faithful Stewards

Recently I joined the pilot group in Malaysia for the Compass course, Navigating Your Finances God’s Way. The first lesson was impactful – all that we have and own belongs to God, and He is in control of everything. We are God’s faithful stewards to the money and possessions that He has given us.

When we realize that we are accountable for this stewardship, then we must understand what is our responsibilities as stewards, namely, to be faithful with what we are given, and to be faithful in every area (not just the supposedly 10% tithing only). The most important lessons I have learnt from the course are: to trust God with the money and possessions He has entrusted to me, to give joyfully, to be absolutely honest, to seek Godly counsel when the situation requires, to avoid debt and being a guarantor, to save for emergency, to invest wisely and to work unto the Lord.

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men… It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. – Colossians 3:23-24

When I share with my group that I am ‘changing my Boss‘, I am not sure if they understood that I am changing my earthly boss to a Heavenly Boss, and not that I am changing job! Haha!!!

A Different Take on Yes/No

I recently read an interesting article by James Clear called ‘The Ultimate Productivity Hack is Saying No‘. He has a different take on saying yes or no, which was most interesting! He looked at it from the opposite end – meaning that saying ‘no’ is to just to one option, whereas saying ‘yes’ is actually saying ‘no’ to all other options! Furthermore, saying ‘Yes’ is a responsibility – a commitment you promise to the person you say Yes to.

When you say no, you are only saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option.

No is a decision. Yes is a responsibility.

He went on to say the importance of saying No as a productivity hack, as it safeguard against our most precious commodity called ‘time’. You will realize that saying ‘no’ allows you to say ‘yes’ to those things that are important to you, or has more value to you. That, I think is a big motivation to master this important skill of saying ‘no’ or ‘yes’.

I Am Enough

I love the quote from Maya Angelou that says I am enough. I know I am enough because I am a child of God. He has made me in His image. Enough said!

With the constant bombardment of marketing advertisements and social media highlights, it is no wonder if we can stay afloat with our feeling of adequacy. That’s why it’s important to ground our identity in who we believe we are and live congruently with the values important to us.

I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I am who I am in this space and in this time. The only thing I need to do is to serve my purpose in my unique way and do things that matters, while helping others do the same too! Knowing that, indeed, I Am Enough!

Prayer that changes me

Yesterday, I was struck by a quote from the movie ‘Shadowland’, a very old movie about the famous C.S. Lewis. He said that prayer doesn’t change God, that prayer changes me.

I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me. – C.S. Lewis

I thought about how I need to be praying persistently, and more importantly, I have to pray persistently – until it changes me. Often, we pray to change our situation, our job, or our (addictive) habits, our children, even our spouse! So, my prayer should be to change me – to change my perspective or my mindset – to develop my character or to strengthen me.

Many times, we are unable to control our situation, but we can control how we react to the situation. We can control our perspective of the situation, and hence, we can change from a negative to a positive perspective. That each situation is a lesson in the making, and that we can learn from our failures and mistakes, and hence grow stronger from the experience. Our prayer should help us to see God’s will for us and how He wants to change us and develop our character. That, I believe, is one of the important aspect of Prayer.

PichaEats Malaysia

With the help of PichaEats, we met some Myanmar refugees who shared their stories. I was amazed with one of PichaEats founder’s story of how the three of them decided to help refugees in Malaysia, while still studying in university! They found a unique way to help refugees – turning their culinary skills into a quality and delicious food business.

Through PichaEats, refugee families who are forced to flee to Malaysia can get a chance to rebuild their lives, regain their dignity, and provide for their family.

As I reflect on the PichaEats team and the refugees’ sharings, I am reminded again of how blessed I am to have my home, my family, my job and my friends, and many things that I take for granted! It also reminded me to stop complaining about what I lack, but to appreciate what I already have, which is more than enough!

PichaEats team is a young dynamic entrepreneurial team. I salute them for their courage and tenacity to start and maintain this business of helping refugees in Malaysia, and inspiring more people to help others. Read their story, support them by ordering their food if possible, and be inspired to do something to help others too.

L.E.A.D.E.R

Acronym for Leader

Recently, I attended a Talk by Cash Flow Story founder, Alan Miltz, in Kuala Lumpur. He gave the acronym for leader that I found most useful and insightful:

L – Listen

E – Empathy

A – Attitude

D – Decisions

E – Energize

R – Resilience

These are the admirable qualities of a leader! What a apt acronym for them! Furthermore, he highlighted that the letters for the word ‘listen’, are the same letters for the word ‘silent’, signifying that we must learn to be silent when listening! So true!

Do you have these qualities as a leader?

Start With Why

Why I started BlessedAbundance

Simon Sinek’s book, Start With Why, started a movement and shook people and corporations at its core. In his TED Talk in September 2009, How Great Leaders Inspire Action, he talked about the Golden Circle – What, How, Why. Most people start from the outer circle of what they are doing, then how they are doing things – but very few people know, or stay true, to the Why they are doing the things they are doing!

The Golden Circle provides compelling evidence of how much more we can achieve if we remind ourselves to start everything we do by first asking why.

Simon Sinek

So it begs the question of why I have started BlessedAbundance? I had this idea a personal blog a few years ago but gave lots of excuses for not starting it. It took me a long time to overcome my limiting belief that I am not good enough and/or I don’t know enough to share. I believe each of us have a unique story to tell, and more importantly, each of us can inspire and be inspired. Just as I am constantly inspired by books and articles that I read, I can also inspire others to overcome their limiting beliefs and fear of failure, and do what they have always wanted to do! Even if I just inspire one person, I believe that is a very good start!