In Gretchen Rubin’s book, Better than Before, she talked about treats:
If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself.
In the world of fairness, that sounds absolutely fair!!! Haha!! The idea that I can give more, ask more and eventually, be more and have more – it is such an awesome idea!
When we don’t get any treats, we feel depleted, resentful, and angry, and justified in self-indulgence. We start to crave comfort – and we’ll grab that comfort wherever we can, even if it means breaking good habits.
So the opposite is true – when we constantly deprive ourselves, we end up rebelling and doing things that we know are not good for us. The little kid in us wants to throw a tantrum and get what we want, regardless of its consequences. And we eventually give up our good habits.
But it’s important for obligers to have treats. They’re susceptible to burnout, self-deprivation, or too much work for benefit of others, may lead them to feel resentful, neglected or deprived
As an obliger, this is so true for me. I am in the habit of always thinking of ways to make others happy – that I would do whatever I can to make it happen, within my power to do so. And sometimes, I end up feeling depleted. By giving myself a treat, I feel I am “deserving” and hence, will be more willing to continue my habit of meeting expectations, mine and others. The privilege of treating myself gives me the license to ask more from me. It is such a win-win situation – I get a treat and I get to be more!
Here’s a short list of my treats: a nice cuppa Earl Grey tea or hot chocolate at a fancy cafe, reading Agatha Christie’s book, eating beef steak and dark chocolate (maybe not together), walking at a beach, watching the rain fall, explore and travel, etc.
So. What’s your list of treats? Go treat yourself today!