I just finished Daniel Pink’s book, “The Power of Regret – How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward”. He identified four types of regrets – what it sounds like and the human needs it reveals:
| Type of Regret | What it sounds like | The Human Needs it Reveals |
|---|---|---|
| Foundation | If only I’d done the work | Stability |
| Boldness | If only I’d taken the risk | Growth |
| Moral | If only I’d done the right thing | Goodness |
| Connection | If only I’d reached out | Love |
A solid foundation. A little boldness. Basic morality. Meaningful connection. The negative emotion of regret reveals the positive path of living – Daniel Pink, The Power of Regret.
As much as we would like to live a life without regrets, we realize that it is impossible – from the small regret of eating the extra slice of cake to major regret of ruining a marriage or business.
However, regret is not failure. Often, God uses regret as a turning point:
- Peter deeply regretted denying Jesus three times. In return, Jesus asked him three times, “Do you love me?”. Then Jesus built the foundation of His church with Peter.
- Moses spent 40 years regretting a rash decision that caused him to flee to the desert. Yet God prepared him as a shepherd so that he could lead a nation out of Egypt.
- Paul carried the weight of persecuting Christians, until God appeared and spoke to him, “Why are you persecuting me?”. This transformed him to become one of the most powerful apostle to spread the Good News to many pagan nations.
God has a long history of redeeming regrets. He used our past regrets to become wisdom and conviction to move us forward in a way that no other way could. God had used all my regrets for His purpose, and redeemed me in His love, grace and hope. Looking back, there was no other way God could have convicted me from my stubborn heart, except through the pain and sorrow of regret. What I had regretted – revealed to me what I truly valued.
For all of us still wallowing in the “If Only” Regrets, God is calling us to His redemption of grace and hope, to lead us to our salvation.
My Invitation
This is my invitation to you today: to seek God’s redemption for your regrets.