Tag: #adamgrant

It’s better to disappoint others than to disappoint yourself

In my last week’s post, I talked about keeping promises to myself. Connected to this topic, is the concept of not letting myself down.

Excellence is more than meeting other people’s expectations. It’s also about living up to your own standards. After all, it’s impossible to please everyone. The question is whether you’re letting down the right people. It’s better to disappoint others than to disappoint yourself – Hidden Potential by Adam Grant

When I was young, I studied hard in school to please my parents, who believed that getting good grades + obtaining a degree was the ticket to getting a good job. I grew up as a “good girl”, even to the point of being a nerd in school, which many of my friends now find it hard to believe.

I realise it is truly impossible to please everyone. I found out that the sacrifices I make trying to please everyone eventually stripped me of my identify, my dreams and my hopes. So I decided I will stop letting myself down, but to allow myself to grow in strength and courage, beauty and grace, hope and love. To become the best version of myself as I journey through my path of self-discovery, and always reaching for my higher self.

In life, we will always let some people down, even though we tend to try our best not to let anyone down. We must decide who are the ones we will let down in different circumstances. Nevertheless, let us be more intentional in not letting ourselves down but to value ourselves more. And to set a higher standard for ourselves and what we want from our lives, so that we can soar higher in the sky!

Using Scaffolding to Build Your Dreams

I read Adam Grant’s book, Hidden Potential, which introduced the concept of scaffolding. We stop dreaming when we don’t see a way to achieve our dream. That’s why the author came up with the concept of scaffolding as a temporary structure to support the building of our dream.

When people can’t see a path, they stop dreaming of the destination. To ignite their will, we need to show them the way. That’s what scaffolding can do.

In Part 1 of his book, he explained the difference between personality and character:

• Personality is your predisposition – your basic instincts for how to think, feel and act. Character is your capacity to prioritize your values over your instincts

• Personality is not your destiny – it’s your tendency. Character skills enable you to transcend that tendency to be true to your principles.

It is the skills of character that is the basis of the scaffolding. The last century had seen the shift from developing character to improving personality traits. However, we should return to building and strengthening our character, and to have a growth mindset. The author talked about accelerating growth by “embracing, seek and amplifying discomfort” – which he did by making more mistakes. I believe that we have an unhealthy concept of mistakes – viewing them as failure and to be avoided by all cost. Our society has a high acceptance of success, without realizing that the journey of success is paved with many mistakes and failures – stories that are not often shared. The truth is that mistakes are often valuable lessons to be learnt to help us reflect and grow.

Building a dream is not easy – but it is worth it. Never lose hope for your dreams – use whatever scaffolding to support you as you embrace discomfort in the pursuit of your dreams.