I watched an interesting Instagram reel by mightypursuit where they sit down with Dr Arianna Brandolini on the topic of emotions:
Emotions are like children. You don’t want them driving the car because they will crash it. You don’t want to shove them in the trunk because they might die. You want them in the back seat where they can be seen and heard and attended to but they are not in control of anything.
As a child, I was confused about my emotions and I tend to hid them. I had the belief that being emotional is a sign of weakness, and if not controlled, emotions can cause havoc . So I learnt to be analytical and logical, as they are based on facts.
And to me, processing emotions is literally just allowing yourself to feel them. And if you look at research, emotions don’t last very long. Emotions are like waves, if you let them happen, they will move through you. … it’s allowing the emotions to happen without suppressing it, without trying to change it, without trying to ignore it, and maybe without trying to indulge it too much.
For a long time, I suppressed my emotions, until they burst out in rage. I could barely recognise myself in those times. I found out that I can’t suppressed just the bad emotions without becoming cold and unfeeling to other positive emotions. It was only in later years that I understood God made emotions for us to feel them. It is what makes us human.
I let myself cry when I am upset or heartbroken. I let myself go through the range of negative emotions of sadness, grief, disappointments, rejection, shame, guilt, anger, embarrassment, betrayal, etc. The emotions, like waves, will move through and move on, sometimes quickly, but oftentimes, much longer than I cared for.
I find out that going through the dark valley of emotions, heightens the big and small peaks of positive emotions like love and joy, hope and peace, enjoyment and optimism, inspiration and motivation, and most of all, gratitude.
All these emotions give meaning to our lives. Even in the darkest hours – when our emotions overwhelm us – we know that we can overcome them to become stronger and then, we learn to be more compassionate.