Month: March 2024

YOLO Win Just Once

Recently, I watched the Chinese movie YOLO – where a woman was jobless for 10 years and living with her parents. Many times, she was betrayed by those closest to her. Despite the pain of betrayal, she still helped them out and didn’t seek to take revenge on them.

There came a turning point in her life that she decided she wanted to win just once. She was tired of being a loser. However, she didn’t obsessed about proving anything to anyone, except herself. She transformed her life drastically by registering for a boxing competition. She had to attempt a few times just to qualify – and it was sheer sweat, tears, determination, perseverance, resilience and grit . On her first match, she was determined not to quit but to complete all the rounds, whereas I was indignant how they could pitch a beginner against a pro boxer! She defined what was a WIN for her, not conforming to society’s definition of success. And because of that, she also define who is a WINNER.

As I was watching the movie, my initial assumption was that they got a slim actress and put on the “cosmetic weight” for her for the beginning of the movie. How wrong I was! At the end of the movie, they showed the real actual progress of the actress losing the weight from beginning to end of 2023! I was super awed!!! It blew my mind when I found out she was also the movie director!!! Unbelievable!! Absolutely INSPIRING!!!

Her story reminds me of Joseph in the Bible – how he was betrayed by so many, yet he triumphed in the end as God brought him up to great heights. God always use our dire circumstances to transform us. God has created the human spirit to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges. It exist deep within us, that sometimes only the biggest challenges in our lives can reach inside and grab hold of it.

Never lose sight of what is IN YOU:

Your Awesomeness.

Your Beauty.

Your Courage.

Your Determination.

Your Energy.

Your Fighting Spirit.

Your Greatness.

YOU ARE A WINNER!!

Harness Kindness as a Super Power

Kindness has become a rarity in our culture, no longer occurring as naturally or commonly as it once did. It is more common that we are too busy to even notice – a person who had stumbled, or rushing to a closing lift door, or a pregnant woman standing in the bus, or a mother juggling grocery bags and screaming kids – much less do something about it.

We live in a detached world where everyone is distracted. We have no idea what another person is going through. Sadly, we don’t even know what those closest to us are going through – their private battles and silent tears. Yet, we are quick to judge and condemn – particularly among keyboard warriors and netizens who arrogantly voice their opinions, behind the shield of digital media and/or anonymity, and without the filter of normal social decorum!

We need to bring back kindness as part of our way of life. Kindness can bring great hope and joy, which has a rippling effect of kindness spreading far and wide with lasting imprint to our hearts and souls.

A kind word spoken at the right time can transform a person’s life.

A kind remark can inspire others.

A kind act can heal wounds.

A kind gesture can offer strength and comfort.

A kind question can show curiosity and seek to understanding.

A kind smile can bring joy and laughter.

A kind giving can help someone in their critical finances.

A kind thoughtfulness can bring warmth to a friend in need.

A kind heart can love profoundly.

A kind consideration can uplift spirits.

A kind hand can reach out to the lonely and desperate.

In all the kindness to others, let us always remember:

to be kind to ourselves.

The reason kindness is a super power is that it takes courage to be kind – when we speak lovingly, or write thoughtfully, or give generously, or smile, or reach out, or forgive, or being considerate, or sometimes, when we go out of our way to do something for another person. And this courage gives us the power to do something good and bring out the goodness in others.

Let us harness kindness as a super power – to bring hope, compassion, generosity, inspiration and understanding into the world.

Embrace and celebrate our imperfect self to become our masterpiece

In our current world, we strive for perfection. And it is getting easier than ever to achieve the perfect image – through filters and AI. In our social media, we show our best photos. In our social settings, we display our best appearances. Behind all these virtual and physical masks, we hide our imperfections. Surely, I am guilty of it!

I like the Japanese art called Kintsugi – the art of repairing broken objects, often ceramic pottery or glass, with gold lacquer. For me, what is so amazing is that the repaired pottery is even more beautiful that the original, as the golden lacquer brings out the beauty of the broken pieces. It is not ruined, as the broken pieces have been weaved into a new masterpiece.

That is also true of us – when we take our broken pieces and weave lovingkindness for healing, to become a new person – using the lessons we have learnt from our failures – to make us stronger and more compassionate. Our failures teach and guide us, reveal insights about ourselves and sometimes, force us to face the painful truths within us. We become healed from our brokenness and become “real” – to experiencing LIFE with its joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, achievement and frustration, freedom and oppression. The depth of sorrow brings new height to our joy. The long agony of frustration makes us value our hard-earned achievements and successes. Our failures make us who we are today. We celebrate our imperfections as they made us into our own masterpiece.

We don’t need to hide our imperfections, especially not from ourselves. To recognise the beauty of our imperfection – is how we can see our self-worth – to be confident of who we are and appreciate how far we have come in our journey of life.

No masks. No filters. No AI.

Just as we are.

Absolutely Beautiful.

Perfectly Imperfect.

Just as how God made us.

Using Scaffolding to Build Your Dreams

I read Adam Grant’s book, Hidden Potential, which introduced the concept of scaffolding. We stop dreaming when we don’t see a way to achieve our dream. That’s why the author came up with the concept of scaffolding as a temporary structure to support the building of our dream.

When people can’t see a path, they stop dreaming of the destination. To ignite their will, we need to show them the way. That’s what scaffolding can do.

In Part 1 of his book, he explained the difference between personality and character:

• Personality is your predisposition – your basic instincts for how to think, feel and act. Character is your capacity to prioritize your values over your instincts

• Personality is not your destiny – it’s your tendency. Character skills enable you to transcend that tendency to be true to your principles.

It is the skills of character that is the basis of the scaffolding. The last century had seen the shift from developing character to improving personality traits. However, we should return to building and strengthening our character, and to have a growth mindset. The author talked about accelerating growth by “embracing, seek and amplifying discomfort” – which he did by making more mistakes. I believe that we have an unhealthy concept of mistakes – viewing them as failure and to be avoided by all cost. Our society has a high acceptance of success, without realizing that the journey of success is paved with many mistakes and failures – stories that are not often shared. The truth is that mistakes are often valuable lessons to be learnt to help us reflect and grow.

Building a dream is not easy – but it is worth it. Never lose hope for your dreams – use whatever scaffolding to support you as you embrace discomfort in the pursuit of your dreams.